Buffy the Vampire Slayer *Tall Tales* Line
Sasha (aka MsBig) has produced
a range of exclusive figures for Buffy
the Vampire Slayer. They are all based on stories
told by the characters. Some are tales of derring-do, some
are garbled re-tellings, or pure fantasy, but they could all
be classed as *Tall Tales*.
*Tall Tales* Exacto-Knife Buffy & the Vampire Jock
In the Season 1 episode, "Harvest",
Buffy is comforting Xander with stories of improbable vampire
slayage.
Buffy: “Oh, fire, beheading,
sunlight, holy water, the usual.”
Xander: “You've done some beheading
in your time?”
Buffy: “Oh, yeah. There was… this
guy that played left tackle for varsity. Well, at least he
used to before he was a vampire. Anyway, he had this really,
really thick neck, and all I had was a little, little Exacto
Knife. (Xander laughs nervously) You're not loving this story.”
Xander: “No, actually, I find
it oddly comforting.”
*Tall Tales* Alligator-Wrassling Faith
In the Season 3 episode, "Faith, Hope & Trick",
the new slayer in town, Faith, has just met the Scooby gang
and is telling tall tales.
Xander: “So what was the,
uh, story about that alligator? You said something before.”
Faith: “Oh, there's this
Big Daddy Vampire out of Missouri who used to keep them as
pets. So he's got me wrassling one of them, OK? The thing must
have been twelve feet long and I'm...”
Xander: “So was this, um,
ahem, also naked?”
Faith: (Teasingly)“Well,
the alligator was.”
*Tall Tales* Dancing-for-Dollars Xander
In the Season 4 episode, "The Freshman",
Xander is telling Buffy how his Jack Kerouac-style American
road trip went.
Xander: “Basically, I got
as far as Oxnard and the engine fell out of my car, and that
was literally. So, I ended up washing dishes at 'The Fabulous
Ladies Night Club' for about a month and a half while I tried
to pay for the repairs. No one really bothered me or even spoke
to me until one night when one of the male strippers called
in sick and no power on this earth will make me tell you the
rest of that story. Suffice to say I traded my car in for one
that wasn't entirely made of rust, came trundling back home
to the arms of my loving parents, where everything was exactly
as it was except I sleep in the basement and I have to pay
rent. How's college?”
Buffy: “Male strippers?”
Xander: “No power on this earth!”
*Tall Tales* Masterpiece-Theatre Andrew
In the Season 7 episode, "Storyteller",
Andrew is locked in the bathroom talking to his video camera,
but he imagines he's in a cosy room wearing a smoking jacket,
and hosting Masterpiece Theatre.
Andrew: “Oh! Hello there,
gentle viewers. You caught me catching up on an old favourite.
It’s wonderful to get lost in a story, isn’t it?
The adventure, and heroics, and discovery… don’t
they just take you away? Hmm(he tries puffing on his pipe,
but chokes on the smoke and puts it down). Come with me now,
if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the
mind, a little tale I like to call Buffy, A Slayer of the Vampires.”
*Tall Tales* Murderous Faith & the Vulcan
In the Season 7 episode, "Dirty Girls",
Andrew is giving the potential slayers some background information
on Faith, who has reappeared to help Buffy. He gets it a bit
wrong in describing Faith's turn to the dark side.
Andrew: “Faith. Her name
alone invokes awe. Faith. A set of principles or beliefs on
which you are willing to devote your life. The dark slayer.
A lethal combination of beauty, power, and death. For years
and years - or to be more accurate - months, Faith fought on
the side of good, terrorizing the evil community. But like
so many tragic heroes, Faith was seduced by the lure of the
dark side. She wrapped evil around her like a large, evil Mexican
serape. She became a cold-blooded killer. Nobody was immune
to her trail of destruction. Not friends, not family. Not even
the most pacifist and logical of races.”
Amanda: “What the hell
are you talking about? I thought Faith killed a volcanologist.”
Andrew: “ Silly, silly...Amanda.
Why would Faith kill a person who studies Vulcans?”
Amanda: “He studied volcanoes.
He was a professor.”
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